MC Chris

To all of you who love fine music with delicate undertones, well, I suggest you just move along. This entry? Not for you. This one's for the mentally uncoordinated.

To all of you who watch Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, well, you won't be surprised.

Therefore I might say this entry is for everyone who likes suburban, white-boy, high-pitched rap and cartoons. And Star Wars. Did I mention Star Wars? Oh, and anyone Chris Carlton ever called "sophomoric." Yeah. You.

His name is MC Chris. That's right. MC Chris. Not Kris or Xris or even Chriz. Chris. He often contributes music and his signature voice to animation. And damnable if he isn't a crazylicious rapper.

Trust me, hit his website, mcchris.com. Click on "raps." That's right. Raps. Then just listen to the magic of his mp3s. My favorite, from here to eternity, is "#$%^&* Up My Christmas." Its not classy, and yes, it is potty-mouthed. But that doesn't make it any less awesome. Or sophomoric.

The Killers

Okay kids, I don't know a plethora about the Killers and I don't have a plethora of time (I am headed for a little chop of the mop) - just be prepared to open your ears. They have a four album discography (I only own one, the Hot Fuss special edition album). That said, they rock. Their music is solid rock and roll, spiced with flavors originating in the late 1970s and early 1980s. The ecclectic feeling of it, if not the music itself, reminds me of early U2 and contemporary OKGo and Prince - well-educated brilliant work.

To add:
1) In many ways, the Killers are like Cake or those albums by the Dave Matthews Band that get less radio airtime: you have to listen to each song three or four times before your brain goes, ho ho ho. . . Merry ^&%$#@ Christmas!. Give them the chance they deserve.
2) Listen to "Mr. Brightside" first. Trust me. You'll listen to it twelve or thirteen times in a row immediately after that first time. I know I did.

Okay, as to links: you can get their videos and discography from their home page (though I'd imagine their homesite is murder to navigate without a high-speed connection - just a warning). Further, they''ve got four fantastic songs on myspace.com. Enjoy.

The Apology & Crito

I have long prided myself on being relatively well-read when it comes to the classics. That said, I am still aghast at my ignorance in comparison to the average scholar of the 19th Century (I read works by Westerners prior to the 20th Century and I feel humbled constantly). So, rather than resting on my metaphorical laurels, I continue my quest to improve myself by reading the great ones. I am still working my way through part of Tacitus, and currently I have three other books open - a collection of pre-Socratic Greek philosophical tracts (I admit, I am utterly disinterested in most, since most tend to be obsessed with describing the natural world absent human beings), a collection of the great speeches of Cicero (the Roman statesman), and a collection of Plato's Socratic dialogues. Last night, as I worked my way through the latter I finally found the opportunity to read the Socratian Apology and Crito (as written by Plato) in its entirety. Let me tell you a little about it.

First, the Apology is named ironically. Socrates is pointing out that he's been falsely accused, his accuser (Meletus) is a corrupt fiend, and that if the Athenian jury (of 501 men) finds Socrates guilty, well, they are corrupt too. Well, let's just say this makes for great rhetoric, but ol' Socrates, well, he was found guilty nonetheless.

I won't try to explain why Apology is important in purely philosophical terms - I'm not smart enough and I'm certainly not inclined to do it.

That said, in practical political terms, Apology matters because it demonstrates the practical use of religion in legislation and/or judicial proceedings - to justify the manipulation, disempowerment, disenfranchisement, and/or "elimination" of political, economic, or social competitors. In other words, it is the quoting of scripture to enforce tyranny. Praise Socrates and Jefferson.

As to the Crito, well, this is a much simpler text. Socrates has been condemned to death. His friend Crito has come to beg him to flee Athens rather than submit to his punishment. And Socrates insists on following the course, becoming a martyr, and thus guaranteeing his survival in the future, including inspiring such great men as Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr. (not to mention presaging the greatest pacifist in Western history, Jesus). You've got to read it. Its beautiful for entirely different reasons than the Apology.

I went to a used bookstore and went crazy, spending $1.50 for the complete dialogues of Socrates (again, as written by Plato) and the Apology in book form. Also, you can download them from the net, thanks to the great Project Gutenberg, for free.

The Martian Chronicles

I first read Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles when I was in seventh grade, way back at Graham Middle School. Arguably it has been the most influential fictional book of my life - I read it probably six times before I started high school just two years later.

Written over the course of the late 1940s and early 1950s, The Martian Chronicles is a collection of short stories and vinettes that cover every imaginable topic even vaguely assocated with imperalism - the psychology of those being colonized, the morals of colonization, the rationality of patriotism in light of weapons of mass destruction, genocide, the freedom of the "frontier" (think of it as the anti-Heart of Darkness), and religious conversion to name a few. Not only that, Bradbury writes each episode in a powerful, heartbreaking way - you understand virtually everyone, and the one or two characters you find yourself hating, well, you ultimately find yourself pitying in short order.

Specifically, check out "The Earth Men" (it still gives me chills).

Read it. You'll thank me.

Big Neal

So I was reading the news this morning and on BBC I found a story on "Big" Neal Saunders, an American soldier recently returned from Iraq. He's a rapper, and he and some friends produced an album in Iraq about their experiences fighting there.

They're kind of angry.

They're angry at policymakers who don't have any priorities. They're angry at the generals who trained them for the wrong mission. They're angry at a national press that pumps out mass-consumption-oriented fluff. They're angry at the Iraqis who don't appreciate the American soldiers' sacrifices and efforts to improve their lives. They're angry at American peacenik hippies.

Angry.

I won't lie - as a man who studies war, I get real tired of hearing nothing but academic, stark, emotionless jibber-jabber or fluffy "we-don't-want-to-hurt-anyone's-feelings" journalism or "salute-the-flag-and-don't-question-our-leaders" patriotic "journalism. Its nice to hear this sorta' thing. If by nice you mean refreshing properly painful, like really, really cold water.

As to the music, well, hmm. . . think angry, angry gangsta' rap. In the Middle East. You can hear samples on CD Baby (don't miss "24 hours" and "Behind the Screens" in particular).

The albums is being produced by 4th25 (pronounced "fourth quarter") - their homepage features not only a blog and tons of thoughts on the war and its coverage (and they media's coverage of Live From Iraq, Big Neal's first album), but it has a collection of real video from Iraq (aimed, I can only imagine, at dispelling illusions about the nature of the solider's life).

You want some other interviews? Try On the Media's (note the really troubled interviewer) or, oddly, Stars & Stripes's story.

Steve Smith

I'm not gonna' say much, cause whatever I say is going to be heavily tainted with personal bias. That said, my Unca' Steve pretty much is awesome.

Bluegrass, gospel, folk, and traditional Latin (specifically greater Mexico). That's it. There it is. You'll love it. A plethora of mp3s are available to get you familiar with his sound.

Don't miss "Billy the Kid," "Shady Grove," "Distant Lands," "Bacon and Bread," "The Queen Anne's Revenge," or my favorite, "Anna Mae."

Our Goblin Market

Below I've mentioned my boy Vaughn Garland twice. I figured he deserves an entry of his own. So here it is.

Vaughn is an artist. That's right, a real, live artist. MFA and everything. Likes to paint. He and I still bat around the idea of multidimensional expressionist-impressionism. That's what I said. You don't understand it because he I haven't written the grant to do it yet. So deal.

That said, I got an e-mail the other day that said, "So I have started a blog. I really do not know why." Ultimately, this ma'am-a-ja'ma is a joint for VG to edjukate the proletariot on images and art theories in a whim-based mode. Look at it. Its brand new, so throw him sound counter-digits. You love it.

Tapes n' Tapes

Listen up - NPR has dropped me some more knowledge worth having via the magical "internet." Punks.

They're called Tapes n' Tapes. I know its a weird-@$$ name. Suck it up.

What can you say. They're a solid alt-rock band who still retains their garage-feel and their website has some jonx worth hearing (downloadable mp3s anyone?). Listen to their newer jonx first, their older jonx second (Papaw the "I make judgments from one or two songs bo bastard") - above all don't miss their "Cowbell," a reference to Christopher Walken's masterpiece of acting on SNL.

I like 'm. Nuff said.

Jolie Holland

As I mentioned below, the ever-clever VG dropped me some serious knowledge with regards to some artists this weekend. I thought I'd share. Cause I'm just that kinda' Hillbilly.

I'd like to begin by noting that critics are no way to determine the quality of just about anything. Seriously. That includes this site.

That said, they are a good way to find your way to new music (allowing you to make judgements) and they just might give you the descriptive language you've been searching for with regards to a given artist. Maybe.

Regardless, Ms. Jolie Holland is a great example of how critics do, sometimes, recognize quality when they see it. Check out her website - the list of applause is as long as the Great Wall of Zhongguo. That said . . .

Okay, the critics seem obsessed with trying to dissect Holland's work. Is it bluegrass? Is it jazz? Is it folk? Was it written by Hobbits? How much have Western and Latin influences effected the Southern sensibilities of her work? BLAGH.

Jolie Holland writes, sings, and plays American music. If you're Southern and you don't fall in love with it, well, its probably because you hate Southern music of every genre. Me, I like it. Hell, I love it.

There are two sites to check out - both are worth a peek. First, Holland's homepage has a ton-o-jonx, including lyrics and some music - hell, you can stream an entire album. Second is Holland's sub-page on the site of ANTI- (a site which is worth a peak in and of itself). There's more music here and a highly comprehensible (if not comprehensive) bio.

Elvis Perkins

Vaughn Garland is a legend among men. He is a living, breathing, and occasionally coughing archetype of the modern American artist. I mean, for the love of St. Andrew, the man only dresses in black, brown, white, and gray—though there are occasional floral flourishes. That said, this man of powerful hair-styling traditions and oil paint solvents has taken it upon himself to throw some serious musician recommendations my direction. As they say down Mexico way, muchas gracias.

First among the group is Elvis Perkins. That’s right, he has the same name as the “King.” Let me tell you what I know. Or, rather, what I think I know. I am not recommending you use me as a reference. Bastards.

Elvis Perkins has a smooth, lightly jazzy, semi-U2, quasi-Bob Dylan sound. He can obviously play a guitar like an S.O.B. but he does so only with extreme restraint—you won’t notice it if you don’t think about it—so do. He’s from Rhode Island (which is a state). His band is Dearland. And his website, while cool, doesn’t tell you $#@&. This fact, however, is made up for by virtue of the fact that it has a substantial number of mp3-esque action going down, wikkity-wack.

Hit up Perkins' homepage. Listen to “Ash Wednesday,” “Without Love,” and especially “While You Were Sleeping.”

Quotable lines (from “Without Love”):

I once caused your cells to shimmer
And you once caused my cells to shimmer
Now we all go the night without love

Ah, breakup music.

Toonpedia

If you like cartoons or comics, well, you'll love this site. And rue the day your boss catches you looking up Scrooge McDuck at work.

Don't question me. Pledes.

Brother Ali

So, I grew up on Motown. That's right, Miss Margy loved Motown. The Drifters, the Platters, the Temptations, the Pips, the whole blim-blamming mess of 'm. Damn good music for sitting around and talking or driving around in the South with your windows down when the Farenheit reads 70+.

Okay, now imagine you're me. You're on your way to work, pulling the commute at 7AM, yawning big and thinking small, when you decide to flip on NPR. Morning Edition is discussing the SXSW Music Festival (that's South by Southwest for us laymen) in Austin, Tejas. That's when I hear a snatch of a song called "Forest Whitiker," (availble on the NPR site) about, yes, Forest Whitaker. But only as a metaphor. You'll understand when you hear it.

If Earth, Wind, and Fire somehow had, through the miracle of science, a child with, say, Tupac (i.e. Makavelli) or Snoop and a bottle of smooth water-of-life, bam. That's Brother Ali.

You're still not with me on this? Alright. Brother Ali is an albino Muslim from Minnesota. Yeah. Now you're reading. You needy bastards.

Here. Look for yourself. First, there is what seems to be his official site, which frankly, ain't much. Worth a glance, though. But, and here we go again, his myspace.com site, yeah, that's pretty all right. You're gonna' wanta' hear "Forest Whitaker," "Rain Water," and "Look at Me Sideways" - but then, you'll probably want to hear all he has to give and more.

The Gabe Dixon Band

A pet peeve of mine is how there are, basically, only four kinds of television on these days after 8PM. There is reality TV, which, with the exception of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, is dung. There are shows about police (which are only barely grounded in truth). There are shows about intelligence operatives (which are only vaguely grounded in truth). And there are shows about lawyers (which are grounded in the lifework of Tyler Garrett Kidd). I hate all of them, not because anything is wrong with the genres, but because they are all just so damn overdone.

And because they are all Sarah wants to watch. Sigh.

Okay, moving on. All that said, with all my irrational biases in place, I can say that I still find myself wanting to watch the new NBC show Conviction. It is, as far as I can tell, about a magical world where new lawyers are all very pretty and trained in witty reparte. Also there is some self-righteousness and whining. Ally Mc-what? Whoop!

Obviously, I don't want to watch it for the plot. No, I want to watch it to catch snippets of the Gabe Dixon Band. They're consumate examples of why most of the great music coming out of 21st Century Nashville is doing so in the form of rock, not country-western. All you have to do is listen to their song "All Will be Well" to know that. Let me characterize their work: magnificent vocals, magnificent music (especially Dixon's keyboard artistry). Look at these lyrics:

The new day dawns,
And I am practicing my purpose once again.
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win but if I lose,
Oooooo I don’t know.
I will be tired but I will turn and I will go,
Only guessing til I get there then I’ll know,
Oh oh oh I will know.

All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that’s shining in my window as I write this song to you.
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true,
All will be well.
Even after all the promises you’ve broken to yourself,
All will be well.
You can ask me how but only time will tell.

The winter’s cold,
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees.
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know,
That all will be well.
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell,
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well.

All the children walking home past the factories,
Could see the light that’s shining in my window as I write this song to you.
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well.
Even after all the promises you’ve broken to yourself
All will be well.
You can ask me how but only time will tell.

Keep it up and don’t give up
And chase your dreams and you will find
All in time.

All the children walking home past the factories
Could see the light that’s shining in my window as I write this song to you.
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true,
All will be well.
Even after all the promises you’ve broken to yourself,
All will be well.
You can ask me how but only time will tell.

All will be well.
Even after all the promises you’ve broken to yourself,
All will be well.
You can ask me how but only time will tell.

You can ask me how but only time will tell.

That's the whole song. I quote it all for you for one reason - frankly, its because I want you to understand that this is a hymn, like a medieval tune once perverted by bad folk singers and finally returned to grace. God its good, a requiem or a eulogy. Comforting even as it conjures images of bad times and hard people.

The Gabe Dixon Band's home site is here - they provide access to most of their music through iTunes. If you don't have or want the iTunes program (or, like me, can't use it at work), try their myspace.com site. They've got four great songs. . . including "All Will be Well."

The Sith Sense

Arguably the greatest time-waster ever. Play 20-Questions with the Dark Lord of the Sith himself.

James Earl Jones.

I love it when he makes the window shake by using magical force awesometascity. Chuck will love it even more.

Brought to you by the good folks at Burger King (yes, the creepy, plastic monarch does show up. . . and that chicken thing).

Regal Man-Beauty 2006

Yes. It is what it looks like. His name is Jason Lee Austin. He is posing for a camera phone photo while wearing a paper crown and mirroring the most recent issue of Foreign Policy in the Mellow Mushroom of Knoxville. We won our trivia match that night. Hail Caesar.

ERRATUM: I failed to mention that Mr. John Kerns, Sensual Being, took this photo with his camera phone. He requests that all comers requiring camera phone work completed please feel free to contact him at anytime.

Un-Governments

I am utterly, morbidly, and absolutely fascinated by states that lack international recognition. I know, I know, it is an odd thing to be obsessed with, but there it is. That said, I was talking about this obsession last night with my friend Doug (who just got funding for graduate school, buya), and so I decided to put together a list of my favorite official secessionist and rebel websites. Hooray! It ain't complete because half of them don't have the "net," but it is awesome. And the FBI will probably investigate you for looking at them.

Somaliland: Northwest Somalia, differentiated from the rest of Somalia by two key factors, 1) the historic experience of British, rather than Italian, colonialization and 2) a sweet website.

Nepalese Maoists: Dude, Maoists. In 2006? Thats so Cold War.

Taiwan: Sure sure sure. They're still the RoC (that's Republic of China, not the mythological winged beast). Whatever. The best farce in interstate politics.

Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus: Man, their website makes me want to write incredibly, fantastically, mangnificantly long adjective-noun phrases. Wicked, pimping, cool jonx.

Nagorno-Karabakh Republic: I think this is where they were doing all that stuff in Spies Like Us.

Abkhazia: I think this country was in Lord of the Rings. I mean, their flag. . . seriously.

South Ossetia: Trying to get out of Georgia. Not the state, the state. Er. Yeah.

Pridnestrovian Moldovan Republic: Clayman used to date a girl named Pridnestrovia.

Fax Toy

This is one of those "participatory" websites. Send in random faxes and then whoopee, they get put on the "internet." I dunno'. Check out the Commodore 64, John Wayne, and athletic cup faxes in particular. Whoopee.

Random Jonx

Listen, I have been looking for awesome stuff online. I have found some. It is all entirely disconnected. Love it.

1) Blogdigger: Search blogs for jonx. "Show the world your RSS."
2) Steve Martin: Excuuuuuuuuuuuse ME! "They feel its more important to take the drugs than do a good show. . ."
3) Graffiti Research Lab: High-tech public defacement. "Free Borf."
4) Guess the Dictator and/or Sitcom Character: Spooky. ". . . drink plenty of fluids."
5) Webjay: Listen to music picked by someone else. Dammit. "Will Webjay cause my computer to burst into flames? Webjay is buggy software. It may and probably will crash your browser or cause your computer to burst into flames. THERE ARE NO WARRANTEES."
6) The Simpsons: Live-action. "I will not eat things for money."
7)GarbageScout: For those of you in NY who want to pick through other people's garbage. "It should look like it's free."

Also, there's a squirrel.

Star Wars: Revelations

Listen. This is going to be a fast one. Don't blink.

Star Wars. I love it. So do these people. That's all I can possibly say. LOOK AT IT.